I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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