Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
COCAINE IS GR8
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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