How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
