it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Mom said you looked used
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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