I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
