I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize