i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I will pee on everything he values.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize