He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
