His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
