I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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