Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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