like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
