My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
