So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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