shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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