So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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