I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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