You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
