after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
