If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
