break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My pussy is not your playground.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
