Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
