Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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