She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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