Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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