I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
