Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
