Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
