Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
