just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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