wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
