i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
