i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
