My brain says no but my pants say off.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
