we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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