covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
