i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
