it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
