real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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