please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
