Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
