Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
