What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
