just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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