every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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