Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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