Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize