belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
