Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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