i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
