Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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