3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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