I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
