the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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