dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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