Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
honey bunches of taint.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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