The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
