I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
