Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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