My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
operation harelip BJ is a go
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
