Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
