What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
