Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
