ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
