I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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