glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize